The other day Ryan and I got in a little bit of an argument about something that I actually can’t remember what the topic was. Regardless, during our conversation I was telling him something about how I feit as though I wasn’t being heard.
Of our frequented topics as far as our marriage goes is communication. Sometimes I feel like we argue more about the way we argue more than anything else. We actually don’t argue very often, we do debate concepts and theories and things of that sort, most always keeping it civil. But every once in a while we will get in a tif that we simply decide to agree to disagree.
After the recent discourse about whatever it was, we were discussing what we could do better with in our communication for the next time. My main complaint is being interrupted and not feeling understood. Ryan’s response was that I seem to pause in my speech long enough for him to think I am finished with my thought (a byproduct of thinking before I speak, I suppose) and he believes me to be finished at which point he voices his thoughts.
In the back and forth about our differing communication Ryan said, sarcastically might I add, that we are not talking using radios so our speaking can overlap in our discussions.
I thought this was brilliant! In the event of a discussion where one or both of us are not feeling heard, we should pick up our ham radios (pretty much just fancy walkie-talkies) and have the conversation this way.
Not only does this make you think before you speak because you have to actively push a button to be heard, but you also must listen to the other person entirely during the exchange when they have their radio button pushed as they speak.
Of course I can see this becoming problematic if we chose to be immature and abuse the use of the talking button, but Ryan and I shouldn’t have any issues with that if we come to terms in agreeing on how to practice communicating this way.
Not only do I see this as a means to learn better communication in marriage but certainly to set up successful communication habits in children as well.
I have seen other parenting blogs or posts about parents who have their children slow dance in a shared t-shirt or perform some silly ritual together in an effort to promote togetherness and teamwork desire hard feelings, but I really like the idea of a walkie-talkie-talk to fix the jam of disagreeing communication.